Unit2 The Appropriate Word
Objectives
At the end of the unit you will be able to
1. differentiate various styles in English ,namely, formal, general, colloquial, and slang;
2. avoid some pitfalls of Chinglish; and
3. develop an awareness of audience in note writing.
PART I warm-up activities
Form pairs and each write a short paragraph as part of a letter of self-introduction. Student A looks at File 1 and student B at File 2 for specific information.
SHAPE \* MERGEFORMAT
The paragraph of self-introduction will be part of a letter to a job interviewer. Emphasize your strengths, stating that you are a responsible and competent worker.
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File 2 The paragraph you are going to write will be part of a letter to a pen pal. Write the paragraph to reveal your weakness, the part of your character that you are not happy with. |
Part II Focus
Style
Formal and general
Suppose you are making an entry in your diary about a meeting held last Friday. Which of the following two sentences would you write?
The meeting adjourned at 5 p.m. without any consensus being reached.
The meeting finished at 5 and we didn’t reach any agreement.
In English, words can be, roughly, formal, general, colloquial, and slang in terms of style. Formal words are those used by educated people in formal contexts such as thesis writing, official news releases, and formal announcement.
Formal words are not as common as general words, which form the basis of the vocabulary and are used for everyday communication. A comparison between the two styles is illustrated below:
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Formal |
General |
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Fracture |
Break |
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Lucid |
Clear |
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Terminate |
End |
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Corpulent |
Fat |
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Facilitate |
Make easy |
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Verify |
Prove |
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Concur |
Agree |
Colloquial and slang
How does the following sentence sound? And why? How can you revise it?
The violin virtuoso’s performance on the cello was a real bomb.
The colloquial style and slang are normally used in a conversation or in order to achieve a conversational effect. The colloquial style forms the basis of an oral speech. It is characterized by contractions, e.g., don’t, won’t, hasn’t, etc. and abbreviations, e.g., auto, TV, phone, etc. in writing, however, the colloquial style takes a less prominent role. Therefore, for most writing tasks, it may not be ideal.
Slang originates from a desire for novelty. For instance, you may often hear people say something is the in thing nowadays. The word in is a slang expression which means popular, fashionable. Slang is vivid if novel, but most is short lived, while some does pass into colloquial expressions. Too much slang can make a passage loose and unserious; some may even sound odd, as the example below shows:
The author has put a terrific lot into her book and she comes up with some pretty good ideas. She really goes to town over horror films. According to her these films help you get rid of hang-ups as well as frighten the pants off you.
Now can you revise the paragraph with words in a more acceptable style?
Style and audience
Read the following excerpts from two notes and answer the questions.
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Excerpt 1 |
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This was great! Thank |
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You very much! I want my |
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Own copy of the album-next time we go to |
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Borders. |
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P.S. I look forward to Sat.-see you soon. |
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Excerpt 2 |
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Thank you very much for your useful |
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Information. I wonder if it is possible for us to |
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meet sometime next week to have a discussion |
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about it. |
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I look forward to hearing from you. Thank |
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You again. |
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Questions:
1. Who might be the expected reader of the note?
2. What is the language feature of each style?
There are in general three main styles in writing with distinctive language features:
The formal style is characterized by extensive vocabulary, frequent use of formal and abstract words, absence of slang and almost no contractions or clipped words. It is also stricter in observing grammatical distinctions that are often ignored in the informal style.
The informal style is characterized by vocabulary ranging from formal to colloquial but mostly general, and occasional contractions and clipped words. It may also contain some inconspicuous slang expressions.
The colloquial style uses general and colloquial words, frequent contractions and clipped words, and there are more slang words than in the informal style.
Different styles are used to address different audiences and on different occasions. When you talk to a friend, you use words different from those you use to your teacher. And when you add an entry to your diary, you use words different from those in a term paper. We need to master various styles so as to copy with various types of audiences and situations.
Classroom activities
1. This is an insurance policy written in an old style. Work in pairs first to find out the meaning and then change it into a more natural style.
Old style：upon the happening of an occurrence reasonably likely to involve the Company hereunder, written notice shall be given as soon as practicable to the company or any of its authorized agents.
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2. The sentences below are problematic in style. Point out the problems and then revise the sentences.
1) The general manager asked you to hang on for a second.
Revised sentence:
2) When Macbeth recoiled at the thought of murder, Lady Macbeth urged him not to chicken out.
Revised sentence:
3) I asked him to cut out his misconduct.
Revised sentence:
3. The following three excerpts are taken from different types of business writing. Please answer the questions after reading.
1) What is the style of each excerpt? Is it formal, informal, or colloquial? Mark the words that give you the impression.
2) What is the possible relationship between the writer and target reader of each excerpt? Are they colleagues or a superior and a subordinate? Or are they friends?
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I think your proposal to smith and sons is great. If we get the contract, I own you a lunch! I’ve marked a couple of places where we could cover ourselves on the schedule. See what you think.
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Excerpt 2 I think your proposal to smith and sons is excellent. I’ve marked a couple of places for your consideration where we could ensure that we are not committing ourselves to a schedule we might not e able to keep. If I can help in any other way, please let me know.
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4. Compare the style of our writing in the warm-up activities with your partner’s and see how they differ. Try to improve your writing by changing the style of some words.
Chinglish
Avoid literal translation
You may have come across some of the following sentences in a Chinese student’s writing or perhaps in your own:
His body is very healthy.
He only said a few sentences. He made us very disappointed.
His two eyes are blind.
Is there anything wrong with them?
Chinglish in this book refers to the unidiomatic use of English by Chinese speakers. One of the cases of Chinglish is literal translation, a common practice of many foreign language learners. Though for many beginners a translative approach is unavoidable, literal translation cannot get them to far, for each language has its distinctive way of classifying and interpreting the world, hence impossible to be changed into another language by simply switching the code. So we must learn the English way of thinking, which is manifested by its grammar and vocabulary, and try to examine our writing from the perspective of a native speaker.
Grasp the connotation
Compare the pairs of italicized words below:
a. 请帮我们宣传一下这个新产品。
Please help us to propagate this new product.
b. 他遇事总是先想着自己，真是太个人主义了。
He is self-concerned and individualistic.
How would you react to the above English sentences?
When you try to express your idea in English, you have to be careful with the connotation of English words. The seemingly equal expressions in two languages may carry completely different connotations. And again you should try your best to avoid literal translation.
Avoid repetition of meaning
Repetition of meaning is common in the Chinese language, but improper in English. Translate the following sentences and compare the two versions:
a. 大家感到那听起来不像是真的。
b. 那个主意听起来很有趣，而且两个主意恰巧合为一体。
c. 这位跳高选手创造了新的世界纪录。
From the examples above, we can see that Chinese seems to be more descriptive or “wordy” while English seems to be more succinct or concise. In Chinese, it is natural to emphasize your ideas by repeating it in a round-about way, but this is regarded in English as against the rule of economy and clarity and, should be eliminated.
In a word, the best way to avoid Chinglish is to be familiar with English, and try to think like native speakers when you use their language.
Classroom Activities
1. Translate the following Chinese sentences into English and compare the two versions.
2. Correct any mistakes in the following sentences and translate the corrected sentences into Chinese. Compare the English and Chinese versions.
1) He was tortured mercilessly by the enemy.
2) That’s an impractical illusion.
3) We have eliminated the enemy force entirely.
4) How can you believe those groundless lies?
3. Check your partner’s writing for the warm-up activities and see if there is any Chinglish expression in it. And then make improvements.
Part III Writing
Notes (99)
Reading the following samples and do the exercises.
Sample1
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Imagine my pleasure when I opened the parcel! An exquisite |
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robot dog standing right in front of me! You really know me. |
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I’ve been dreaming of it for ages and a million thanks for |
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your wonderful gift. |
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This is the main body of a note between two classmates.
Exercise:
Modify the note into one written to your aunt expressing your gratitude for the gift. Pay attention to the style.
Sample 2
This is a note between a student and an honored guest.
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Dear Mrs Santini, |
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As previously arranged, you are invented to attend the |
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Arts Festival at Yifu Auditorium on our campus on |
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18, September. A car will be sent to bring you here at |
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4:00 p.m. please call us to confirm the arrangement. |
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Thank you. |
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Sincerely yours, |
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Jenny Lu |
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Exercise:
Change the note into one written
to a friend of yours, inviting him/her to attend the Arts Festival. Pay
attention to the style.
Generally speaking, the language should be more formal when you are writing to an old person, a stranger, or a business client than when you are writing to a young person, a close friend, or a relative.